So the biggest news in the past 24 hours is that the White Stripes have officially broken up. And during Black History Month, too. How insensitive! Back in December we were promised a new White Stripes album, and it appeared that they were gearing up to write new music and embark on another international tour. Then - BAM! - White Stripes go bye bye. Why?
As it says on their website, it's not because of some bullshit cliché reason like "creative differences" or "health issues" - they say they want to preserve everything that was good about the White Stripes. I'm sure that is true in part, but I suspect it has more to do with their label than they're letting on. Most bands don't start the process of releasing a new album and then abruptly stop if there isn't any fighting going on among the band members, health issues, Black Keys-style fauxhaustion, et cetera. I'm guessing they found themselves in some sort of abusive situation with their label and decided to give them the major middle finger rather than bow to whatever terms they were supposed to abide by.
Lots of people are now ripping on the White Stripes after their demise (I'm looking at you, forum nerds). Why? Ohhh, because they can't play their instruments. Allegedly. Come on, guys. Sure, Meg White isn't the world's best drummer, but can you imagine Neil Peart or Mike Portnoy or John Bonham behind the kit in the White Stripes? It would sound totally different. Their simplistic, garage-rock-throwback style was what made the music appealing to fans. And to those hatin' on Jack White's musical chops - Kurt Cobain was kind of a shitty guitarist. Think about it.
At least we still have the Raconteurs and the Dead Weather. Jack's side projects aren't quite the White Stripes, but they're still really effin' good. And Meg - well, Meg still has those magnificent breasts.
Anyway, this post is getting really long and I can just hear some people frothing at the mouth while screaming HURRR DURRR WHURRRR ARE THE PICTURES so I'll go to the White Stripes' website and try to find some sort of image to share with you that's relevant.
Here we go:
Wait a sec...
What the...
I swear to god if that says
FUCK YOU WHITE STRIPES YOU ILLITERATE PRICKS I HOPE YOU STAY BROKEN UP FOREVER AHHHHHH
"And to those hatin' on Jack White's musical chops - Kurt Cobain was kind of a shitty guitarist too. Think about it."
ReplyDeleteJack White is FAR from a shitty guitar player. The guy has mad chops, and is a genius with guitar tone.
You're right, Jack's an awesome guitarist. I totally worded that wrong! Thanks for pointing it out!
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