Hollywood Slam - February 7, 2011

Hey guys, my Internet isn't working at home so I'm writing this from a Starbucks and it's seriously the douchiest thing I've ever done so I'm gonna try to knock this one out in 5 minutes or less and then get the hell outta here.  Sorry if it's not funny - if you need a laugh that bad picture me frantically typing this thing out while suspiciously eyeing everyone in American Apparel sweater dresses in case anyone tries to get me to buy a $15 latte or join Greenpeace or something.  Okay, here goes.

Have you ever broken up with someone right before Valentine's Day just so you wouldn't have to buy him or her a gift?  Of course you have, ya cheap bastard.  It's possible that horrific and ultimately douchebaggy trend is spreading to the music world - feels like a ton of bands are breaking up lately and it hurts my wee little heart.

The White Stripes broke up last week, of course, and now LCD Soundsystem is calling it quits.  I know, I know - the news came out on Saturday and it's Monday, but I take my weekends off, you ungrateful little turds!

They'll be playing their final show in Madison Square Gardens on April 2.  If you're from Halifax like me and you have wads and wads of extra cash billowing from under your mattress every time you lay down, tickets go on sale this Friday (the 11th).  I'm betting $50 that their encore will be New York, I Love You and everyone will have a good cry.

Maybe they'll drop a bunch of acid at the show and re-form as LSD Soundsystem!

...sorry, that was lame.

In happier news, remember how Death From Above 1979 were getting back together to play Coachella?  Don't panic, it's still happening - but it may be more permanent than we thought.  My favourite little chicken Sebastien Grainger posted on his website this morning announcing that for a bunch of reasons including numerology and China and some shit, he's getting back together with Jesse to make sweet sweet music forever and ever. 

Please allow me to have your bearded hipster babies.  Ironically.

U2's show in Johannesburg, South Africa may be in danger after a shady, mysterious thief stole a bunch of cabling or wires or I don't know I'm not a scientist and now they can't turn on the lights, or something.  Seriously, I don't even care enough to read the article.  But this just seems too easy.  Steal some stuff and U2 won't show up?  Anyone have a flatbed truck big enough to help me cart away all of Magnetic Hill?

Fuckin' Magnetic Hill, how does it work?

And finally, here's the lineup for Sasquatch music festival.  It was released today.  I wasn't kidding about needing to get the F out of here, that's literally all you get about it.